lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders

Ramesh loved God, but he loved men too

As a homosexual mnn in India, Most of the people were close to losing my faith in God. First, there was Ramesh*. When he turned 19, his parents discovered a naked picture of a man in his drawer. Ramesh loved God, but he loved men too. His parents, well educated, genteel folk in every way, began to put Ramesh through rigorous conversion therapies. Every day, he was told that he was acting against God’s intent. Ramesh stayed adamant in his man-loving ways, which resulted in his being sent for shock therapy and visits to quacks who claimed that they could cure homosexuality. Ramesh was given “medicines” which reduced his libido, so he could be told – “See, now you are not thinking of men” and then pills that made him tumescent, at which exact moment doctors would show pictures of women to him. Ramesh tried killing himself three times in the next two years. Luckily, he failed.

Then, there was Sunita*. When she came out to her family, her parents forced her to marry a man, convinced that it was the only kind of union God allowed. Sunita has a child, and a lifetime of non-consensual sex. She confessed  her urge to make love to women, and the self-loathing she is filled with when she sleeps with her husband. “The worst part is,” she said, “I have to fake orgasms too.”

This July restored my faith. On Sunday, the 28th, my friend Sibi was at the St. Thomas Church in Goregaon, as usual. That morning, the priest’s sermon was about homosexuality — needless to say, according to the priest, Jesus still wasn’t cool with man love. But as Vinod Philip, Christian member of the Queer Azaadi Group said when I called him to share the good news, “Sometimes you need to throw back the question, asking them, “what do you think Jesus would have done?”  It leaves them confounded – they are so far from his teachings that they can never figure out the answer.”

Sibi however, did know what God intended for him to do. He stormed out of church and called up a meeting of the members of Queer Azadi Mumbai, so the assembled could draft a letter of protest to the Archbishop. The text of the letter was as follows:

“We (lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders) are repeatedly told that God doesn’t love us as he considers us deviant. We are quoted texts from Holy Scriptures to support this argument. However, the same scriptures also tell us a lot of other things that are considered as sin but are now considered as a part of society and culture. We don’t seek the Church’s support in the LGBT movement, but we have done nothing to invite hate speech from the church either. We have been taught that religion does not beget hate”.

The letter ended with a request to the Archbishop to request all churches to stop anti-gay propaganda. It was a shot in the dark. We didn’t know what would come from it. But we wanted to make our voiced heard.

Last week, we received a reply from the Archbishop of Bombay, Oswald Cardinal Gracias himself. “The church loves everybody, even people who have different sexual orientations. To say that those with other sexual orientations are sinners is wrong”. Though the letter also categorically states that the church doesn’t accept gay marriages, the fact that the Archbishop has taken a stand against calling gay people “sinners” is a great reassurance to people like Sunita, Ramesh  who were beginning to lose faith. The Archbishop’s letter is a giant leap towards equality, because he takes a stand against discrimination on the basis of sexuality. Even Jesus would give it a thumbs up.